“NOT A VICTIM ANYMORE”

Capture

At one point or another, most of us have been a victim of something. Whether it is abuse, discrimination, wrongdoing, or a false accusation, being a victim can be painful, frustrating, and even devastating.

Depending on the circumstances, victimization can leave us with a profound sense of powerlessness and even hopelessness. Even when the circumstance has passed, and tempt us to believe that our lives are subject to the negative actions of others, those feelings have a way of remaining.

The truth is, we get to choose whether or not we will remain a victim. We can’t change what happened to us yesterday but we can decide where we will go from here.

Best selling authors and psychologists, Dr. Cloud and Dr. Townsend, put it this way, “It’s not my fault if I get hit by car, but it is my responsibility to learn to walk again.”

If you were victimized, it is not your fault. It’s horrible and unfair. And as frustrating as it may be, the responsibility to move forward, to heal, to get better, lies in your hands.

John 5 invites us into the story of a man who had been paralyzed for 38 years. Upon encountering him, Jesus asked him a profound question…

“Do you want to get well?”

The man responded with a list of obstacles that were standing in the way of his healing. He pointed fingers at his circumstances and the actions of others. In other words, he responded with a victim mindset.

Jesus gave him a directive, “Get up! Pick up your mat and walk.”

Upon doing so, he was healed of his condition.

I believe that Jesus is asking you and I the same question, “Do you want to get well?”

We can either continue to focus on the obstacles and find excuses that will keep us stuck in the conditions and mindsets that perpetuate our sense of victimhood, or we can stand up, take responsibility for what is ours, and walk towards freedom and healing.

The choice is ours.

We can continue to find reasons and excuses that justify why we are the way we are, or we can decide to get well. The beautiful thing about choosing to get well is that with God’s strength, we have the capacity to not only survive victimization we once experienced, but to overcome it completely. (Romans 8:37)
Source :  youversion   (seven day devotional by Harmony (Dust) Grillo “Getting past your past”)

Secuil ungkapan hati

Screenshot_2016-08-10-10-01-42_com.bahrain.wbh_1470798343127

Saat ini duduk di depan laptop, aku benar ingin menumpahkan apa yang ada di hatiku saat ini. Aku pikir benih Sumatera for Jesus lahir di hatiku 2 tahun lalu sudah mati, ternyata benih itu sudah bertumbuh dan tidak mati. Saat seorang teman yang akan pindah dari Medan ke Jakarta, dimana dia hampir setiap malam menangis karena rindu Medan, seperti yang aku alami di thn 2005 saat aku pindah ke Jambi dimana setiap malam aku menangis dan ingin pulang ke Medan. Saat itu, hati ini masih belum mengerti bagaimana caranya untuk belajar mengasihi kota dimana kamu tinggal.  Aku berkata kepadanya, jika memang sudah putuskan untuk berada di Jakarta, minta agar Jakarta lahir di hatimu.

Belajar meletakkan hatimu, jiwamu, cintamu bagi kota dimana kamu tinggal akan membuat kita bisa melalui hari hari dengan suka cita dan semangat baru, dan juga merupakan kesempatan dimana kita belajar untuk mempersiapkan hati saat di pindahkan dari kota ke kota yang lain. Lahirkan kota itu di hatimu, seperti Sumatera dan Indonesia lahir di hatiku. Sumatera lahir di hatiku saat aku mengadopsi hati pemimpin rohaniku yang mengashi Sumatera dan berdoa minta hati nya Tuhan , kasih nya Tuhan untuk kota dimana kita ada, untuk ada di hati kita. Walaupun sebenarnya aku belum melakukan apapun untuk Sumatera,  tetapi aku tahu waktu itu akan tiba. Waktu itu akan tiba.

welcome to Sumatera – Indonesia.

 

 

 

5 Ways You are Teaching Your Kids to be Entitled

entitlement

 

How does a parent raise an entitled child? Especially since no parent intends to?

Entitlement pervades nearly every aspect of today’s culture, which means Christian families aren’t immune from its influence. In fact, if you aren’t proactive, it’s almost a given you’ll raise an entitled child. It’s a sobering thought.

Most parents know entitlement develops when a child is given too much, too soon, but many parents don’t realize entitlement is also bred in more subtle ways. More lethal ones.

Could you be accidentally raising an entitled child?  Here are five common parentingmistakes that can lead to entitlement:

  1. Allowing Your Kids to Interrupt

I recently attended a meeting at the home of a family with three adorable kids. Halfway through the presentation, one of the children ran into the living room and stood next to the speaker. “Have you seen Frozen? I love it!”, she declared, then launched into a litany of reasons she loved the movie—smack in the middle of the speaker’s presentation.

Granted, this was an informal meeting, but still, the parents said nothing. The interrupted leader sat visibly uncomfortable, unsure of how to regain control.

This innocent parental mistake holds consequences if not addressed. Kids who don’t learn respect for other people’s time, conversations, or physical space are essentially being taught “the world revolves around you.” When life becomes child-centered, kids become me-centered. Kids who aren’t taught to wait for their turn—whether on the playground, or in the living room—are on the path to becoming entitled.

Is it important to give our kids undivided attention? Of course!  At appropriate times. We want to raise engaging kids, not entitled kids.

Does your child interrupt? Try this: First, explain the importance of waiting to speak until others finish. Then develop a “secret signal” your child can use when you’re in the middle of an adult conversation. My kids placed their hand on my arm, then I place my hand on theirs, letting them know I would turn my attention to them soon. It was a win-win solution.

 2. Not Making Please and Thank You a Big Deal

Even entitled folks say “please” and “thank you” for the big things in life. But grateful people remember to say these words for the small things, too.

When our kids were young, my husband started a family ritual at dinnertime. At the close of every meal he’d say, “Thanks, Mom, for this great dinner”—even if the meal was take-out. It was a small habit that reaped big rewards. Our kids learned to appreciate the daily things we do for one another. They became grateful people, not entitled people.

Has your family gotten out of the habit of saying please and thank you? Try this:Lead by example. For the next seven days, thank your spouse and/or child for something you might normally take for granted.

 3. Breaking the Rules

This one is perhaps the most common in today’s culture. Rules, many of us figure, are more like guidelines. Sure, we want everyone else to follow them, but us? Our kids? Well, we’ll be the judge. Today’s mantra seems to be “Don’t tell ME what to do.”

Here’s the problem: allowing kids to break rules, whether minor, like running at the pool, or major, like breaking curfew, teaches disrespect for authority. It leads to chaos in a home, in a school, in a society. The issue at stake is much bigger than running at pools, or staying out after curfew, or whatever rule happens to be at issue in the moment. The message we send when we allow our kids to make their own rules is “the world revolves around you; it revolves around us.”  And that message leads to entitlement.

Does this mean we need to parent like tyrants?  Not at all. But we do need to lovingly and consistently teach our kids to follow the rules.

Have you allowed your kids to “bend” the rules? Try this:  The next time you’re faced with any rule, whether big or small, (think “keep off the grass,” “no dogs allowed,” etc.) follow it. Use it as a teaching opportunity.

 4. Being Too Quick to Step In

We all know that mom or dad—the one who pitches a fit if their child doesn’t make first string, doesn’t get the A, or doesn’t get the recognition. Of course we want our children to succeed, but the goal is to help our children learn how to succeed based upon their own merits. When children receive recognition based upon parental intervention rather than their own initiative, entitlement results.

Have you been too quick to step in? Try this: Give your child the gift of working hard to achieve a goal. Resist the temptation to intervene unless absolutely essential. Be okay with a little failure along the way. Failure isn’t fatal if it helps your child develop character. Allow your child to succeed in his or her own time and own way and you’ll raise an empowered child, not an entitled one.

 5. Following the Crowd

These days it’s not uncommon for middle school kids to reserve party limos or preschool children to have birthday parties as elaborate as weddings.

Is all this excess healthy? Who started this trend? And why did we as a society follow it?

There’s a fine line between making our kids feel special and making our kids feel spoiled. If every event is special, soon no event is special. Special becomes ordinary. Parents spend time, energy and money trying to top the last party, the last gift, or the last event. It’s a crazy maker for parents and an entitlement maker for kids.

Have you blindly followed the crowd? Try this: Before mindlessly buying the latest gadget or allowing your child to participate in some activity just because everyone else is, stop. Look beyond the moment. Is the decision in your child’s best interest in the long term? Resist the urge to give too much, too soon. Instead, give your child the opportunity to look forward to things as they mature; then special things really will be special. Anticipation is an antidote for entitlement.

Yes, we live in the age of entitlement. But our families don’t have to be victims. We can chart a new course—a better one—for our children. Entitlement isn’t merely a function of giving our kids too much stuff; it’s also a function of failing to give our kids the stuff they really need: parental guidance, wisdom, and direction. With a little know-how and effort, we can turn the tide of entitlement.

Source : Cross walk

 

4 Things to Do When Pursuing Spiritual Growth

Pursuing spiritual growth? Here are four things to help you along the way.

1. Drop your guard.

You’re never going to learn anything unless you can first admit you need the help. Spiritual growth and pride don’t mix. So if you’re looking to gain a deeper understanding of God’s glorious power, you must first learn to remove yourself from the picture and allow the Spirit of God to consume you. Take a step back and trust in the promise of God’s Word. Strip away your fears and skepticism’s, and open your heart to be radically altered for the sake of a spiritual transformation.

“To deny oneself is to be aware only of Christ and no more of self, to see only him who goes before and no more the road which is too hard for us. Once more, all that self-denial can say is: “He leads the way, keep close to him.” —Dietrich Bonhoeffer

2. Serve God. Serve People.

No matter the way one will find themselves serving the cause of Christ, selflessness must play a role if one hopes to find a deeper understanding of their spiritual journey.

 When one serves, they must understand the reality that everything one has is from God in the first place. Therefore, the point of serving God is not to be blessed by God but to grow closer to him in the process. Serving God, the church and the needs of others is to do that of Jesus during his time here on earth.

“One of the principal rules of religion (Christianity) is to lose no occasion of serving God. And, since he is invisible to our eyes, we are to serve him in our neighbor; which he receives as if done to himself in person, standing visibly before us.” —John Wesley

3. Love without limits.

1 John 4:19 states, “We love because he first loved us.” And when it comes to us showcasing that love to the people around us, we must use every opportunity available to demonstrate it. We see in the Bible that the love of God was shown through Jesus’ sacrifice on the cross. This love was without limits, sufficient for all people and done without anything expected in return. In the same way, we as Christians must engage in a lifestyle of loving our neighbors. In showcasing this love we will find ourselves gaining a deeper understanding of who Jesus is in our lives. Why? Because to know God is to know love.

Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love.” —1 John 4:8

4. Unplug from distraction.

Whether your distractions are found in social media, mobile devices or toxic friendships, in order to truly engage in a deeper relationship with Jesus, one must first understand the importance of unplugging from the infection of distraction. This means you may need to take time away from a current relationship, break away from your current community of friends or even take a step back from social activities. Whatever your distractions may be, they are not worth keeping if they are hindering you from engaging in a relationship with the only person that truly matters: Jesus. Do away with distractions and fix your eyes on Jesus.

“Fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.” —Hebrews 12:2

source : http://churchleaders.com

Visi (vision and darkness)

Visi dr Tuhan akan di genapi dalam hidupku, saat aku mau diubahkan, saat aku tidak lagi menuntut pembenaran diri, saat aliran kehidupan mengalir dari hidupku, bukan aliran pahit. Saat hidupku hanya bergantung sepenuhnya padaNya. Saat yg aku cari adalah keiinginanNya dalam hidupku, bukan keiginanku, bukan keegoisanku. Hanya hati yang total berserah yang mampu melepaskan semua pembenaran diri dan Allah Roh Kudus yang akan memampukan aku untuk melepaskan semua hal hal yg tidak berkenan bagiNya.

Vision And Darkness

Whenever God gives a vision to a Christian, it is as if He puts him in “the shadow of His hand” (Isaiah 49:2). The saint’s duty is to be still and listen. There is a “darkness” that comes from too much light—that is the time to listen. The story of Abram and Hagar in Genesis 16 is an excellent example of listening to so-called good advice during a time of darkness, rather than waiting for God to send the light. When God gives you a vision and darkness follows, wait. God will bring the vision He has given you to reality in your life if you will wait on His timing. Never try to help God fulfill His word. Abram went through thirteen years of silence, but in those years all of his self-sufficiency was destroyed. He grew past the point of relying on his own common sense. Those years of silence were a time of discipline, not a period of God’s displeasure. There is never any need to pretend that your life is filled with joy and confidence; just wait upon God and be grounded in Him (see Isaiah 50:10–11).

Do I trust at all in the flesh? Or have I learned to go beyond all confidence in myself and other people of God? Do I trust in books and prayers or other joys in my life? Or have I placed my confidence in God Himself, not in His blessings? “I am Almighty God . . .” —El-Shaddai, the AllPowerful God (Genesis 17:1). The reason we are all being disciplined is that we will know God is real. As soon as God becomes real to us, people pale by comparison, becoming shadows of reality. Nothing that other saints do or say can ever upset the one who is built on God.

O Lord, with much dimness I draw nigh to You. Clear the dimness away from me and flood me with the light of Your countenance.

Source:  youversion.com

Daily devotion : my utmost for His highest

Indahnya Kristus

Inilah indahnya Kristus, kasih karuniaNya yang begitu berlimpah. KasihNya memulihkan lukaku.
KasihNya begitu melimpah memenuhi hatiku, menerobos, memenuhi seluruh jiwaku dan memulihkan.
Thank you untuk mencintai aku, dengan semua kekuranganku dengan cintaMu yang tanpa batas.
Pengalaman imanku dinulai bukan dengan pertemuan yang tidak terlupakan, tetapi imanku bertumbuh dari langkah kecil demi langkah kecil sampai hari ini. Dari pergumulan demi pergumulan, yang membuat aku tahu, aku tidak bisa hidup tanpa Kristus. Membuat aku mengerti hidup bergantung pada Yesus membuat semua kesulitan mampu dihadapi. Apapun kesulitan yang terjadi Kristus selalu ada beserta, selalu setiap waktu, bahkan saat dalam kegelapan. Saat aku berjalan dalam kegelapan, selalu ada Kristus yang memegang tanganku.
Sekarang tempat gelap itu sudah dipenuhi sinar terang Kristus.
Christ is my everything.

Love back to life

I’m reading a book who written by Sheila Walsh (‘Love back to life : how I found the courage to life free”).  I found out some paragraph and poems that meant to me a lot.
Chapter 5 : why are you afraid ?

“I am learning that what God cares about is who I am when the lights are off and the crowds has gone home.  This truth also means that whatever comes into my life,  whether it is what I would choose or not, can be used by The Lord to mold my life if I will trust HIM.”

this below paragraph  teach me to handle my anger and hatred. Sometimes it is hard for me to go through the bad feeling that happens inside me  when I get hurt from family member especially the one you put trust on.   in this paragraph, Sheila teach me to give all hurt to my shepherd “my Jesus”

“I am learning now to trust the shepherd to be my defender.  For me it is a daily, sometimes hourly, relinquishing of control of my life and my destiny to God. When I feel myself getting angry now, I take a step back. I go into another room by myself, sit at the shepherd’s feet, and tell Him what I am feeling. When I forget to do that or choose not to do that, I ask for forgiveness.  I do not take this lightly. It is no fun to be the recipient of my anger.  Scripture, in fact, tell us to avoid such people (proverbs 22:24).  Though this year, the anger has subsided as I have  consciously brought all the broken pieces of my life to Christ. It is one thing to feel as if power has been taken from you as a defenseless child. It is quite another to gladly surrender is as an adult to a risen Savior”

the Poems she wrote :

I never knew You lived so close to the floor,
but every time I bowed down,
crush by this weight of grief,
I feel Your hand on my head,
Your breath on my cheek,
Your tears on my neck,
You never tell me to pull myself together,
to stem the flow of many years,
You simply stay by my side,
for as long as it takes, 
so close to the floor.